Oh what a feeling!

There are little miracles in every day life.

How can I put into words, this overwhelming pride, joy and bliss I feel when I peek into that little potty and see bright yellow? J’ai!

wise young man

My wise young man was late to second grade today. It was my fault. He said, “Don’t worry mom, you’re supposed to make new mistakes. If you’re not making new mistakes, you’re not really learning.”

Thank you Ms. Beuller at Sycamore Elementary for knowing what an education is all about.

No you di-n’t…

Yep, I did. I went on-line last night at 1am and blasted Oprah! What a negative post.  I feel the need to clear the air. No better way to do that than to discuss a little tidbit of Oprah wisdom.

I remember a quote from her show which has proven to be really wise. “When somebody shows you who they are, believe them. “

I remember sitting in a yoga class with a popular teacher. It was the most serious class ever. I felt as if I were on the beach doing a Rodney Yee video. I was worried that if the teacher broke a smile she might crumble into a thousand tiny pieces. (hee hee… hidden Oprah reference)  I knew I couldn’t giggle, and I couldn’t dance or I might disrupt the deep spiritual mojo that everyone but me was experiencing. We left after a very serious and somber reading of yogic text and a super depressing “namaste”.

It hit me. When someone shows you who they are, believe them. I’m sure the teacher was a very kind person, but one thing was for sure – she wasn’t happy. I just didn’t buy what she was selling.

I want a teacher who can show me the real deal. Sometimes it’s messy or ugly, but that’s ok with me. At the very least, I want a teacher who loves yoga! Somebody who is ok with where they are in life and is embracing it passionately. Someone for who I can say, “wow, that’s really working for you!”

I remember taking a class from Laura Camp on Valentine’s Day. I found out the day before that I was pregnant with #3 and was a bit nauseaus. Right before the abdominal section of class, she pumped on the theme from Flashdance and started to narrate the story with great importance and drama. Try doing abs while laughing hysterically and trying not to throw up. I looked over, and there’s Laura being her normal silly self, poking fun at the universe. It’s a game I want to play and  it doesn’t get messier or more blissful. I’ll buy what she’s selling and that’s what I call yoga.

When somebody shows you who they are, believe them!

Oprah stole my book

Last fall, I read the book Eat, Pray, Love. It was one of the best written books I’ve ever read and really tapped into concepts and language that I relate to. Elizabeth Gilbert chronicled her year off after a traumatic period of time, travelling through Italy, India and Bali. She is a yogi and a student of the world and tells her story with warmth, humour and insight. I loved every word of it. I especially loved her period of time spend in India, of course. She lived my dream of taking time off to become a renunciate of sorts and live in an Ashram learning more about spirituality.

Here’s the deal… I felt like it’s my book. I keep recommending it to people and I alone have sent about a dozen people to Barnes and Noble! Well, Oprah is asking for people who have read the book and want to be on her show telling their personal stories.  Her board is full of comments from people trying yoga like it’s some new fad.

It’s good… more people will discover yoga, Elizabeth will earn the recognition deserved for an amazing piece of work, and Oprah will get the chance to talk about spirituality instead of having another fashion show.

It just gets under my skin sometimes, this idea that we need someone famous to popularize yoga and spirituality. What is wrong with us? Can’t we find it ourselves? Yoga isn’t a fad, it’s been around for centuries. It’s always been there for us, but it saddens me that we have to popularize something spiritual in order to embrace it. Besides, I happen to know that Oprah hates downward-facing dog!

This week I’m fascinated by the concept that all suffering is caused by lack of acceptance of what is. So realizing that,  I am going to embrace the reality that is Oprah. Let me encourage you to read the book because it’s fabulous and extremely fun! I’ll get working on my bad attitude and when the show airs we’ll all enjoy the surge in class attendance together. Here I go – sending good vibes out in the universe to Oprah.

Peace out…

satya

Satya, the yama of truthfulness. I just read my posts and I must say, I sound like a great mom! It’s great to be the author here, but in all satya, it’s not exactly a fair portrayal. Let me leave an official disclaimer of sorts to realign myself with the universe.

I am a good mom. I do love my kids. But… I started having kids when I was 23 years old. I should have been graduating from college, but instead I was entering the school of parenting. (with a very painful entrance exam) My children range from 12-2 years old. I’m tired. Tired of being woken up at all hours of the night and day, tired of making food that I don’t like, tired of cleaning up after everyone else. Tired of having no money, no time and limited amounts of patience. I hate to admit it, but the little macaroni necklaces were much cuter the first time around.

That’s why this yoga path is so near and dear to me. It makes 100% of the difference to find a sacred moment in the middle of washing the dishes, or a real connection with one of the kids. It means that this life I’ve created is exactly what I need for my spiritual evolution and my family is as connected to that cause as I am to theirs. Yoga reminds me that being selfless is a priority, and every nose I wipe is a symbolic gesture of love.

Yoga cured me of my perfectionism. I don’t have to become perfect, because I already am perfect. In this moment, I am exactly where I should be. I was able to release a deep breath that I’d been holding for years.

Isn’t that the way it is for everyone? We all have gurus in our lives. We are all linked to certain people for a purpose. Some are children, some act like children! Some we find it easy to love, and others we struggle with. Usually when the guru is manifested within something or someone challenging, we have the opportunity to learn the most. We’re able to live a life that is special-ordered just for us. I love the quote by Hafiz: “This place where you are right now, God circled on a map for you.”

synchronicity

I believe in synchronicity. I must have tapped into the universe this week. One of the speakers at church today talked about her family mantra! Ok, she didn’t actually call it a family mantra, but that’s what it was. She talked about her family of 3 (teens and adults now) and said that quoting scripture was too laborious for their 3 years old. She boiled it down to one simple phrase that stuck over time. Now she has college kids and teens and their family’s still saying it. (mm hmm… that’s what I call a mantra…)

“Jesus said be nice.”

Simplicity, synchronicity and Mom’s mantras. We are more connected than we know.

Mom’s Mantra

Everyday as we left for school, my mom would do a half-wink and say, “remember who you are…” I like to think that I was a deep thinker growing up, so I’m embarrased to say that it wasn’t until I was grown that I figured out what she meant. It was my first introduction with the practice of mantra.

One of my favorite books is “Consider the Butterfly” by Carol Lynn Pearson. In it, she recalls talking to her adult son and asking him what he learned from her. Expecting a trite answer, he said, “To leave the world a better place than I found it.”

Whenever I drop off a kid I find myself asking them, “who loves you?” My two-year old can give me a whole list of people from Mommy to Auntie to Grandma. My seven-year old grins from ear to ear and says “You mom.” My 12-year old rolls his eyes back in his head, grins and says good-bye, as if I’m soo lame. I guess I figure that if they get anything out of life, it’s make no mistake, “You are loved.”

Don’t be shy.  Leave a post with your Mom Mantra.

the Greensufi

My yoga teacher training included an all star team of speakers. I’m not talking about your usual bunch of go-getters. These enlightened folks included the most eclectic group of spiritual philosphers that Clayton could find. I remember the twinkle in Bagavan Das’s eye and the vile of water from the Ganges River that he kept wrapped somewhere in that pile of dreadlocks on the top of his head.  It was a breath of fresh air to sit for hours and listen to Dharma talks and stories about India and be introduced to new ways of looking at things. It was fun.

On our last day we met Clayton’s friend, the Greensufi. I remember that his lecture was fun and fascinating. He encouraged us to become one with nature and line up our lives and energy with the universe. According to the Greensufi we should wake before sunrise and begin our meditation so that it will culminate with the sunrise in a momentous occasion. (OK… that’s my recollection of it!)

It sounded so beautiful that I decided to give it a whirl. Besides, I thought any aspiring yogini really should take the advice of a man named the Greensufi. I was on board. Well, it was July then and I had to get up at a crazy 5am to beat the sunrise! Needless to say, that lasted about 3 days. The Greensufi was right.. it was a beautiful 3 days.

Well, I’m beating the sunrise again. This time though, the sounds of enlightenment are coming in on the pitter-patter of tiny feet…there’s Kieran! Pitter-patter… there’s Drew! He’s right, it is a fabulous, momentous culmination with the universe. Except in my world, the sunrise is culminating with  a little piece of consciousness sneaking into my bed. Kick, kick. I pry my eyes open and see  a set of eyeballs trained straight at me. I look at my beautiful daughter and think ”you again?”  If I listen closely, I can hear God talking on the other side of the bed…(whisper) “mom… mom… mom…??? Are you awake?”

Sigh. The Greensufi would be so proud of me.

simplicity

In the past few years, I’ve been making peace with some of my long held spiritual beliefs. Saying good bye to the ones that don’t hold true for me anymore, and embracing new ideas. As I study scripture and history I know it doesn’t really matter. God is what God is. 

We’re all interacting with the same God, no matter what your definition of God is. It saddens me to see people waste their energy fighting over beliefs and specifics. Somehow it seems like a validation if we feel we have the truth. We can dissect scripture and delve into the mind to try to make sense of people who lived centuries ago so we can turn around and argue about it more.  But if we argue every point and translation, we are missing the whole message. I had a good friend who was athiest and we agreed that what I called God, he recognized as the thread that connected us all. We got it.

Many saints, siddhis, sages, prophets and enlightened beings went before us. There’s not a lot of difference in the message. Make peace. Love each other, care for each other. Look inside yourself. Reduce suffering. Seek God.

This is Bhakti to me. Being devoted to the power of love and grace. At the core, it’s really that simple.

Cynicism

 

Several years ago, my husband came to take a yoga class I was teaching. On the way home he said, “You really can’t be cynical and do yoga, can you?”

Ever since then I’ve noticed how much yoga has changed my perspective on life. And no, I don’t believe you can be cynical about the world and do yoga. Not really. Not the yoga I know. You can have a cynical or ironic sense of humor at times, but not on the mat. It just doesn’t work.

Cynicism was on my mind last night when I was taking Rusty Well’s class in San Francisco. I’m practicing with a packed room, and at the Yoga Tree’s Castro location that’s got to be close to 100 people. Class is hard, the heat is intense and yet I don’t struggle because I am so into what Rusty’s talking about. Every song is danceable,  and his teaching is so spot-on that I’m able to stay in that zen space and go with it. I just don’t have any mental energy left to be cynical, negative or even let my mind wander. In that moment, every joke he tells seems funnier, and everything within my body is magnified. I’m right at home in the true essense of me, breathing in and out.

So, here I am in the heart of the castro. Me. The little suburban Mormon mom of 3, meeting fabulous new friends and joining all of our beliefs together into a greater purpose. That great bhakti ideal of love and devotion. As we chant at the beginning and end of class, I believe it. We really are all one. We’re not so different and together maybe there is hope for the world.

Naiive optimism, I know. It really is blissful.