who needs drugs?

I’ve never felt compelled to try drugs in the least, I find life fascinating and intense enough without recreational experimenting. Curious? Yes. Compelled? No.

 For example, who needs drugs when you can attend a 6am Ana Forrest class titled,  “Working with Fear”, immediately following a daylong workshop with Katie on dissolving thought patterns? I found myself extremely aware of my thoughts during Ana’s class today. Now, I have to admit, that I thought I was aware of my thoughts before Katie’s class. I might have been aware of the thoughts passing across my consciousness before, but the difference is I still used to believe them.

I’m sitting in class today, in very intense poses – very aware of my own breathing, my own aliveness. As thoughts passed by, for example, “my hip is tight today”, rather than accept it as truth I found myself ask “Is that true?” I was able to drop labels like that throughout the class and that process actually brought me into my body like I’ve never been before. I could feel the tightness/pain of the hip without associating that it was “my hip”, or that it was a true thought. As a result, I found a real struggle free practice today. I felt fully alive and fully embodied. My face and jaw were softer and I had no limitations. Just a quiet wisdom of when to exit a pose.

 At one point, I noticed that Ana pointed attention at one man in front of me, Brian. She called him back onto his mat several times and I had the thought, “She really picks favorites, she just won’t leave Brian alone.” I asked myself “Is that really true?” Yes, she’s really, truly is picking on him. She wouldn’t leave him alone. I thought I was making wise observations about the universe… ha! Later in the class, Ana was doing a demo. We were all huddled in a circle and she addressed Brian and said, “this Brian, not that Brian or that Brian.” Turns out, there were three Brian’s in a row on the same side of the room. No, I really couldn’t know that thought “Ana picks favorites” is true, because it is just a thought. And knowing doesn’t come from our thoughts, it comes from a place deep inside of us where there are no words.

Now I have a new understanding of the bumper sticker that appeared in front of my years ago just when I needed it, like a sign-post from God, “Don’t believe everything you think.” I might even change is to say “Don’t believe anything you think.”