Meaty subject

Assuming I don’t fall off the wagon tomorrow, I will have made it one month without eating meat. I promised complete honesty and here it is. One day I had the impulse to eat bacon, which we rarely have. It smelled really good, despite the fact that Dan cooked it outside, and I almost ate it a few times by unconsciously reaching for it. Yesterday was Dan’s birthday and I made him spicy carnitas. I had a tiny pang of craving for it, but was easily satisfied with my amazing pomegranate avocado salsa. All in all, honestly, I really didn’t miss the animal flesh. 99% piece of cake. Piece of cake, now that sounds good.

When I spent my year and a half as a vegetarian/vegan in the mid-90’s, we were so poor. Young college kids with a baby. My diet consisted of baked potatoes and brocolli, oatmeal and pasta. We would go out to dinner and I would order rice pilaf. There was no money for good stuff like pineapples, mangos, and avocados.

This time around it’s been much more fun. I’m able to try a much bigger variety of food and realizing that many of the foods have “meaty” qualities to them. If I feel like I need something substantial, then avocado on a salad or in a soup – or even olives have some weight to them. Mozarella cheese, good fresh tomatoes and balsamic are a meal in itself. I branched out and tried quinoa and loved it – it’s a brilliant grain that is much more digestable to me than brown rice. It’s interesting, how removing the meat as the centerpiece of my diet has made veggies and grains much more valuable to me. I’m buying higher quality produce, and actually enjoying it a lot more. I love the couple at the Farmer’s Market who line their crisp apples up from sweet to tart, and the bread vendor who sells wheat bread that actually tastes light. I insist on getting real tomatoes now and have discovered that grapes from the Farmer’s Market are impeccable. Overall, I’m eating much better tasting, much healthier food. Mix in a little chocolate and I’m a happy girl.

Lisa – oh business partner of mine, how I love thee!

Let me count the ways:

1. I love the way that the employees refer to you as “big brother”, how you always catch mistakes before they become MISTAKES.

2. I love how you are so anal in your approach to work, so that I don’t have to be.

3. I love your EQ – that high level of emotional maturity is really completely appreciated. You know how to accept an apology and how to give one.

4. I love that your kids adore my kids and my kids adore your kids.

5. I love that you are so supportive and non-reactive when I tell you about my personal problems, as if you hadn’t just spent 8 hours the day before counseling marital couples. Thanks for pretending you are not a therapist and can see through all of my neurosis when we chat. I know you’re faking it, and I appreciate the effort.

6. I love that you are goal oriented. It is the perfect match to my nature of being process-oriented.

7. I love that you don’t care if I order those super cool ultra-hip yoga mats, even though you hate them. (you know I would do the same for you!)

8. I love that you have honorary LDS membership. You get why I’m so crazy.

9. I love that your house is occasionally messy and you don’t clean it up when I come over. It means were family.

10. I love that your husband is so chill about everything and is so amazingly talented. It’s like getting a two-for-one special.

Bonus #11 – I love that I finally have someone to discuss books with. Real books – not the twilight series!

workshop

I opened my computer to write about Achalan’s Yoga Chakra Workshop, and noticed that Lisa already wrote about it on her blog! Well, it was a fabulous afternoon full of much needed stillness and freedom for me. It was an intro level workshop, but because Achalan geared it to be an experiential afternoon versus an academic afternoon, I left very enriched.

I’ve done quite a bit of studying about the chakras, I’ve done a lot of energy work and have taken other chakra yoga workshops. At this point, it’s fascinating to see how each teacher brings something new to their approach and introspection on the inner world of the chakras.

Listen

This week has been interesting. I’ve been working to really listen to my body and honor it. Let me tell you, that’s much harder than it sounds. I’ve had a craving to jog lately. I love to jog on the trails, be outdoors and be amongst all of the outdoorsy, healthy people on the trails. As an added benefit, I picked up right where I left off jogging last spring before we opened Cosmic Dog and my life turned upside down. My body has been loving that repetitive movement and deep breathing. The yoga has sustained my strength and lung capacity so that I could pick up right where I left off five months earlier. So, I’ve had six jogging sessions this week that felt like heaven. Yesterday I happily hit the trail and surprisingly, I just couldn’t get a rhythm going. It was hard, and I was struggling. After about 20 minutes of hell, I decided to walk it out and listen.

As I walked, I discovered two things. Listening to my body, I discovered that my IT band was tight and probably inflamed from a sudden resurgence or repetitive motion, and that I was literally, physically tired. As in, I wanted to sleep. I remembered that I had been having crazy dreams that night and had woken tired, but I’ve been so busy, I didn’t give it any thought. I hadn’t even notice that I was at the point of exhaustion. Years earlier, in my fitness days, I would have pushed straight through those messages from my body or felt guilty for walking! Now, it just feels liberating to notice and honor the speed of my body that day. And it felt really loving and kind to give myself the permission to simply walk.

I’ve been so busy lately that I’m not noticing some very simple things. I was able to walk along the gorgeous trail and really notice the beautiful trees and my breath expansion. I realized in that moment that I had not really even looked at my kids that morning before they went to school. In fact, it’s been a while since I’ve really sat in stillness and soaked them up. It’s been a while since I’ve done anything without being rushed or feeling urgency.

I didn’t feel guilty about walking as I might have a few years ago, but I did feel a sense of realization wash over me. A-ha….. I need to slow down. I find it amazing what the body will tell me and where it will take me when I just listen. I wonder what it will tell me today?

Boo-dha

One of my favorite things about Drew is listening to the conversations she animates around her. Her stuffed animals talk, the rocks at the park have names, even the salt and pepper at our house is known to enjoy scintillating conversation. Yesterday while I was making dinner, Boo-dha and Zebra had a little chat. Imagine it in high 4-year old pitch.

Zebra: “Hi Boooo-dah!”

Buddha: “Hi Zebra.”

Zebra: “My name’s not Zebra it’s Boooo-dah.”

Buddha: “OK Zebra Booo-dah”.

Zebra: “Not Zebra Boooo-dah, just Boo-dah!”

Buddha: “OK”

Zebra: “You’re a pretty girl BOOO-DAH!”

Buddha: “Thank you, I am.

There you have it. Buddha is really a girl, and it’s more fun to say BOOOOO-dahhh. I’m just glad she didn’t reenact my last lecture about cleaning up your stuff. It’s never fun to hear yourself through 4-year old chat – Boo-dha talk is much more enjoyable.

Seductive

Today I was accosted at the mall. I only hit the mall a couple of times a year. If I take the kids in July, they ask if we’re going to see Santa. But – my little one needed a second back up blankie. She loves her blankie from gymboree and I know if I get the same fabric, same style, from the same store, she’ll accept a new version. I know I said Drew needs another blankie, but we all know that’s a lie – the only way I justify spending on low-priority needs (Notice how I can’t bring myself to say wants) is to purchase them on sale. You guessed it, there is a sale at Gymboree.

Walking from my car to the Gymboree store was like walking through a land mine! Those carts full of vendors in the center of the mall are staffed with insane people. I was attacked by the cell phone guy, the skin cream girl, and hair extensions sales person. I ask you, do I look like I need hair extensions? Name one person on this planet who needs hair extensions less than I do… It was very annoying. I wanted to say, “Duh. Look at me!” I found myself avoiding eye contact and getting really annoyed when “not interested” wasn’t enough and I was battered with follow up questions! I felt so attacked and vowed not to go back to the mall until Santa comes.

Then I went out to my car and started to think about what I want to plant in the sad old yard of mine, how I can’t wait to organize my garage, which pictures to hang in the front windows at Cosmic Dog, how I really wish I could justify buying a hybrid car (no sales on those), and whether I have the guts and money to wallpaper my bathroom. Wallpaper?

Then, I heard my stream of consciousness talking. I really heard it. It was just as annoying as being accosted at the mall. Duh – will you look at me? Do I look like I need anything? Interestingly, I was fascinated by my own thoughts and really, really bought into them and attached to them. I have no desire for a cell phone, hair extensions, crocs, or skin cream. Very easy to stay non-attached when the thoughts come from outside my brain. Those thoughts inside my head? They are very seductive.

I’m watching desire in a new way. The things I think I need, think I want, which ones have that sticky quality and come back over and over. (No matter what, I continually fantasize about getting both of my knees behind my shoulders for sleeping yogi pose someday) Desire is fascinating. We are so happy when we get what we want – not because we have what we wanted or needed, but because for a brief period of time, wanting ceases. When wanting ceases, aaahhhhh – that feels good. So now I’m playing mind games with myself. Watching my desires, my needs and wants. So far, I’m seeing a direct link to my thoughts about desire and a sensation of trying to control my world. I think about having a my environment under perfect control and I start to feel a chemical reaction in my body. Immaculate closet… little vibration. Papers filed away in perfect alphabetical order, bills all paid…. bigger vibration. A car that doesn’t have cracker crumbs or scratches or dented bumpers…. now I’m really humming. What fun is this – thinking about it! I tell ya, it’s pretty sexy.

Was I right?

Or was I right? Man – I knew Tina Fey could pull it off. She was brilliant. (I bet the second she saw the Sarah Palin nomination she went home and started practicing that accent.) She’s helping me with my New Year’s resolution to laugh out loud more. Yes, the SNL sketch was everything I hoped for.

Damn, why didn’t I think of that?

Yoga Teacher Training In a Box.

Yogadawg has done it again. Now I can stop worrying about getting together a Teacher Training for Cosmic Dog. Yoga dawg did all the work for me! You too can be a yoga teacher, just purchase this box containing everything you need, including a “soon to be yoga star blue ribbon” to place at the top of your mat when you teach.

Praise for Teacher Training in a Box:

Damn, why didn’t I think of that…Cyndi Lee
Damn, why didn’t we think of that…David Life and Sharon Gannon
Damn, why didn’t we think of that…Rodney and Colleen
Damn, I could have been a Yoga teacher…George Bush

That dollar bill? It could have been mine.

The Yoga Vote

All of the drama behind the election is creating great fun for me! What an adventure, I’m glad it’s finally exciting. That said, the whole business of politics is fabulous for doing inner work – it really stirs us up, illuminating our fears, our ego, and sheds a very bright light on our attachments.

So thanks, Obama, McCain, PALLIN!!!, and who’s that other guy running for VP? Oh yea, Biden. My inner-work is really coming along nicely. While you’re working so hard, can you please wiggle into your plan a tax break for money spent at the yoga studios? Thanks again.

Spiritual

Think about that word for a while. It has so many different meanings. In relation to yoga, there are so many mis-conceptions. So many fears, so many aversions. I often see myself reflected in the eyes of my non-yoga friends as a mad-woman as I try to explain what spirituality is, and how doing a yoga postures could possibly be spiritual.

In Stephen Levine’s “A Gradual Awakening”, he writes:

There is a difference between wisdom and knowledge. We experience a moment of understanding and say, “Ah, that’s how it is!” Then think “Now, how did that happen?” and perhaps later try to explain to to thers how it was. The experience of understanding is wisdom, but trying to capture that understanding, to convey it in words, is knowledge.

This is what it’s like, trying to explain to non yogi’s how yoga is spiritual. The wise-mind that develops through consistent yoga practice doesn’t necessarily come with increased vocabulary! Spirit doesn’t always show up in language.

Today during practice, I felt a lot of tightness – a reaction to a previous yoga class. I didn’t notice the pain I was in as I held warrior B today. Not because I wasn’t aware, but because I was so enjoying the breath and the feeling of being alive, that I was completely at peace with the pain and burn I felt growing in my quads and hips. That feeling of equanimity, of effort and surrender, that’s a huge part of the spirituality of yoga. Riding the breath through the body like a wave. That’s spiritual in a way that can’t be explained to somebody who has never seen past the mind and taken a real, honest, deep breath. Sometimes that is the only real connection to spirit I’ve ever felt that was real and not an invention of my own mind. The body is such a great metaphor to work with on a daily basis, it teaches us everything through the tiny cosmos of our own natural existence.