Dan often goes to church without me and wrestles the kiddos by himself. Yesterday for Father’s Day, I thought it would be nice to stick together and keep our little Missy from ruining his listening time. Drew was a wiggly mess. I finally wrapped her on my lap and she begged me to sing her new favorite song. So, we whisper sang: “Oh Jesus I love you, and I love Buddha too…” several times. It really calms her down. Then, she was enticed out into the foyer where I could still see her and she joined the throngs of naughty children who were having a coloring party. During the closing prayer, I look over and she’s with her friend. Drew has her hands in anjali mudra and her head is bowed reverently. Her little friend had her arms folded and said, “like THIS”. Stubborn Drew says, “I do THIS, my mommy taught me.” Sometimes I think she doesn’t pay attention, but man – the girl is watching every move.
The talks were interesting. We got a big lesson on the “importance” of fathers. The speaker quoted stat after stat of how the children in father-less homes have a higher chance of getting in trouble later in life than those with two parents in the home. (never mind that there are numerous socio-economic/stress factors also involved in single parenting normally… there can be many factors to a child’s perceived success.) Now, I love fathers. I have a great Dad, I’m married to a great Dad, and I see fabulous fathers everywhere these days. Seriously, I think feminism was the best thing to ever happen to MEN. Now, it is expected that they have relationships and share equally in parenting duties and I see husbands rise to the occasion every day putting us moms to shame. Both the father’s and the kids of this new generation are benefiting from it. There is an intimacy that is built through the mundane tasks of feeding a child and wiping their little buns, and putting them to bed. I see great examples of this new version of super dad everywhere. My own husband does his best to be at as many parent-teacher conferences as he can. When the kids were babies, he was the one who mastered the burrito-baby blankie wrap and my kids know that if they wake up in the middle of the night whose side of our bed will bring them more comfort. (it’s not mine!) Just yesterday, during church I watched Dad after dad take out their crying children and care for them. Dads are vitally important.
All of that aside, I was very disappointed in the talk. I looked around the room and it’s hard to see someone, even in our family oriented Mormon congregation, that hasn’t been touched by divorce. Not everybody has a dad, or maybe a good dad, or a father for their children. There were single moms in the chapel and it seemed really insensitive to me to hammer those kinds of details out. Can’t we celebrate Father’s without putting down the experience of those who have no father? Can’t we talk about being surrogate father’s to those in need? Can we celebrate stories of great fathers and our relationship to Father in Heaven without putting down and deriding those who have no father? Sigh. Actually – after my little rant I have to admit that I only have one requirement for a good Father’s Day Sunday Meeting. LAUGH. OMG, if we can’t laugh on Father’s Day, what’s wrong with us? Don’t the Dad’s deserve at least the effort of entertainment on Father’s Day? They are after all, at church!
Pop Vs. Pup
While flying from Denver to Kansas City, Kansas, my mother was sitting across the aisle from a woman and her eight-year-old son. Mom couldn’t help laughing as they neared their destination and she heard the mother say to the boy, “Now remember — run to Dad first, then the dog.” — Karla J. Kasper
“There’s no such thing as fun for the whole family” — Seinfeld
“My father used to play with my brother and me in the yard. Mother would come out and say, “You’re tearing up the grass.” “We’re not raising grass,” Dad would reply. “We’re raising boys.”"
Harmon Killebrew.
“Before I took the old family car to college, my father loaded the trunk with soft-drink bottles filled with oil, coolant and transmission fluid. Sure enough, my car overheated. Scolding myself for not listening to my father’s instructions, I looked at the engine and saw how well he knew me. The oil cap was labeled Dr Pepper, the transmission stick, Coke, and the empty coolant container, Diet Pepsi. I finished the trip safely.” — Charlotte G. Alexander
An eight year old boy is walking down the road one day when a car pulls over next to him.”If you get in the car,” the driver says, “I’ll give you $10 and a piece of candy.” The boy refuses and keeps on walking. A few moments later, not to take no for an answer, the man driving the car pulls over again. “How about $20 and two pieces of candy?” The boy tells the man to leave him alone and keeps on walking. Still further down the road the man pulls over to the side road.”OK,” he says, “this is my final offer. I’ll give you $50 and all the candy you can eat. The little boy stops, goes to the car and leans in. “Look,” he says to the driver. “You bought the Ford, Dad. You’ll have to live with it!”
A mother took her little boy to church. While in church the little boy said, “Mommy, I have to pee.”The mother said to the little boy, “It’s not appropriate to say the word ‘pee’ in church. So, from now on whenever you have to ‘pee’ just tell me that you have to ‘whisper’.”The following Sunday, the little boy went to church with his Father and during the service said to his father, “Daddy, I have to whisper.” The Father looked at him and said, “Okay, why don’t you whisper in my ear.”
Paternal Payback
On the day I received my learner’s permit, my father agreed to take me out for a driving lesson. With a big grin, he hopped in behind the driver’s seat. “Why aren’t you sitting up front on the passenger’s side?” I asked.
“Kirsten, I’ve been waiting for this ever since you were a little girl,” Dad replied. “Now it’s my turn to sit back here and kick the seat.”
– Submitted by Kirsten Wiley
