Ritual

I’ve decided that I need to add more ritual into my day. Not things that other people tell me that I should do, but rituals that are interwoven into my day,  that actually mean something to me. Ways to help me remember to move with love and intention.

I went to the business day of the Yoga Journal Conference yesterday. It was fun for me to listen to Jasmine and Dana, the co-owners (they would say co-creators) of Laughing Lotus yoga studio in SF and NYC. As I expected, they spoke in that quintisential yogi way – a bit rambling – lots of words like transformation, grace, sacred, spiritual, devotion, oozing joy. I even heard one of them say the word (hm) “true-ism”. I guess I was expecting a day of business formulas and marketing experts full of tried and true techniques. Instead, much to my joy, I got to listen to Jasmine and Dana, sitting in the conference room stacking chairs sitting in lotus, talking about how business is their spiritual practice.

Those women are hilarious and really embody the message they are presenting – that yoga and spirituality actually help us experience joy. Jasmine spoke about how Laughing Lotus is her baby and her parents call it their grandbaby and have nicknamed the studio LoLo. She said that whether she’s paying taxes or scrubbing the toilet, she feels like she’s bathing her baby and caring for it. She’s named the studio vacuum Ganesha. She’s a riot – I wonder if she’d have enough energy for all of that with 3 kids at her heels. Maybe she’d borrow mine occasionally. I think they’d really enjoy her. She’s got so much enthusiasm and shakti – I think she’d be really successful at getting them to do their homework.

I don’t know – I have so much responsibility in my life, and I tend to be a very responsible person in the first place. Everything in my life is something I wanted: the husband, the kids, the cat, the house, the yoga studio. It’s a great life and I’m SO grateful. But – often I just forget that element of Leela – that element of play, that life is a game and it’s actually a joy. That what seems like a burden is actually a blessing.

My mother came to town yesterday to watch the kids while I was in SF. She left me a sad message saying that Drew was sick. When I got home, Drew had been throwing up all day and was sound asleep. She woke soon after I got home and as I scooped her up to cuddle her, she barfed all over me. Somehow – after a day of absorbing yoga chat – it didn’t bother me. I was glad to be able to help her and even though I’m pretty tired after being up with her last night, I’m just glad to have piles of dirty laundry to do, glad to have little people (and bigger people – have you seen Brandon lately?) who wear them – in my life.

Today I’m playing with ritual – trying to find ways of integrating the spiritual into the mundane tasks to help me remember the joy of my responsibilties. I think my vacuum definitely needs a name and snack-time must include a meditation on chocolate.  Now how can I make filing papers more fun? I’ll have to ponder this one…

I resolve!

How are these for Buddhist/Yogi New Year’s resolutions?

1. To speak more clearly.
2. To be more comfortable being uncomfortable.
3. To stay in present – especially with my kids.
4. To take care of myself as well as I take care of others.
5. To master pincha mayarasana – consistently and not just on a whim, wondering how I got hanging out there stable as a rock?
6. To fill every Cosmic Dog class until the place is bursting.
7. Dare I say it? Lose those pesky 10 pounds – which is really going to help my pincha.
8. Gut and get rid of every single piece of clutter in my life that is either non-essential or not beautiful.
9. Organize the garage, file and/or destroy every single piece of paper floating through my space, maintain folded clothes in the kids’ closets, alphabetize my spice rack.
10. Save more than I spend.
11. Finish reading books instead of stopping 50 pages before the end.
12. Finish my year of Vegetarianism, thus reaching my goal and never having another issue with wanting meat. Again. (September)
13. Oh yea – have more fun.
14. And – put a stop to the “wanting mind”.

Ha! The mind is a funny, funny thing – isn’t it?

resist nothing

This morning was a typical Friday morning full of busy-ness. Honestly, mornings are pretty chaotic around here. I was so pleased though, because I left the house on time. I was half-way to school and work when Drew kicked up a fuss in the back seat, crying and sounding pretty panicked. I pulled over and this is what I saw:

One very unhappy, very stuck, very much in pain 4-year old. My first reaction was to get frustrated or panicked. After all, what was that girl doing with the extra seat belt and how in the world did she get her finger that stuck, and why did she have to do it when we had somewhere to be on time and we’re never on time? For some reason, today I just didn’t sweat it. I didn’t resist the situation.

I stopped the car and gave her little finger a tug and she cried. The harder I pulled, the more she cried. that finger wasn’t going anywhere, it was getting swollen and even more stuck and she was worried.  I laughed and she laughed back at me with worried eyes. We went home to get reinforcements. I tugged some more and that chubby little finger wouldn’t budge.  ”Call the fire truck Mommy” Drew said. I treated the whole thing like a game or a science project and started looking through the house for possible remedies. After trial and error, we figured out that a combination of ice cubes and – um – a magic secret ingredient worked to slip her finger out of the seat belt in one piece. Drew was a trooper and I can honestly say that it was a nice, peaceful morning, emergency and all.

Right before Tolle’s enlightenment experience, when he was in the depths of suffering he heard a voice say “resist nothing.” Byron Katie’s definition of god is “what is” or “reality”. Learning to resist nothing, to accept every moment as god manifested – regardless of specific definitions – is so freeing. It has helped shape part of my new definition of faith. I have faith that everything that happens is happening for my benefit and the benefit of those around me. That doesn’t mean I won’t try to change things that need to be changed, or that I will stop questioning everything around me, it just means that I can tap into a little piece of zen on a crazy morning. That if I pay enough attention I can avoid wasting all of my energy and have enough to make a difference in the world. That sometimes when I least expect it, I can see through maya and recognize the divine in all her many disguises.

Now I'm sure her daddy must have taught her this yoga mudra.

Cock-a-doodle-doo

I never really understand those people who decide which way to vote on the morning of the election. Until now. I just keep wavering on Prop 2. I’ve done a fair amount of research and I’m really torn.
Years ago, pregnant for the first time, I did all of the research about natural childbirth, and the statistics involved with intervention versus natural labor. I was adamant that natural was the only way to go. I was judgmental and opinionated. Then, I gave birth! I clung to my principles and managed to go natural (with a lot of support from my good friend Julie M) and had two more babies sans medication.  After pain like that, I will never pass judgment on anyone choosing the ever popular epidural. I get it.
Same with meat. I’ve committed. No meat for me. This process isn’t easy, but I’m not making that decision for anyone else. I’m also fascinated with the book Animal, Vegetable, Miracle by Barbara Kingsolver, the local food movement, and just generally exploring alternative relationships with my food and all things holistic.
Within the last few days, as my mind has been wandering around these issues, I found Emily’s blog. Emily is Lisa’s BFF and I enjoy my friendship by association with her. All of Lisa’s friends are super-fascinating, and Emily is no exception. So, below I stole one of her great posts for your reading enjoyment. It seems to me that we could all use a little introspection into what we’re eating, where it comes from, and more personal involvement with it. Emily is a great example of this. I don’t know what I’m most impressed with, Emily’s honesty, her sense of adventure, or the fact that she killed, plucked, gutted and butchered 10 roosters while her husband was gone. She also documented and wrote about it. You go girl. I hope you enjoyed your rooster dinner – you certainly deserve it.

Meat II: Eating My Words

Our first backyard ‘rooster’ dinner.

So, in a previous post I exposed my sentiments of, what Dustin and I like to call, skeptical environmentalism. In other words we are environmental because it’s practical. It makes sense that you should eat meat that comes from one animal and is raised in your backyard. Just as it makes sense to use “real” plates, instead of paper, because you have a dishwasher and paper plates cost money. So, to eat my words we bought half of the neighbor’s steer and to further make my point (and to get rid of half of the enormous monthly chicken feed bill) we slaughtered a dozen of our chickens (all roosters) on Saturday. It was, to say the least, an amazing experience. Katrina, the famous localvore blogger of Kale for Sale, came to join in the fun. I was grateful for her presence because she did bring a sense of order to the whole operation that Jeremy and I would have probably botched. Dustin suddenly had to “work” and so I was left to oversee operations on my own. The little kids were always near and interested, but not totally aware of what we were doing exactly, except that it must be fun because we were adults and seemed to be ‘playing.’

We started off with a prayer. It somehow seemed appropriate as we were about to extinguish living beings. I prayed that we were grateful for this experience, for the chickens who would provide sustenance, and very grateful that we didn’t necessarily have to rely on this as our only options for meat (read: COSTCO). I truly felt like Ma, only lacking an apron and a bonnet. Jeremy was the non-contested self-appointed chicken killer and did a great job. This time he held onto the chickens until they stopped moving…this was much less dramatic than watching them flip around without a head. We then blanched them in some almost boiling soapy water and Katrina and I began plucking. Whew, what a job. Nobody was kidding when they said that it’s time consuming to pluck a chicken. I was REALLY glad that Katrina was there then. She was great and even had a system to the plucking madness. The plucking was done in the heat of midday with our backs scrunched, most uncomfortably, over a plywood table. We had a great time visiting as we worked and Jane was good to help out. She really wanted to pluck her own chicken.

Here are the chickens–plucked but not yet gutted.

After all twelve of the chickens were plucked we began the cleaning and gutting process. I was a little nervous about this part, I haven’t opened up any kind of animal since the crayfish in seventh grade. Jeremy began with a tutorial and showed us how to cut the chicken open to pull out poop (by far the worst part), intestines, stomach, liver, heart, esophagus, to finish by scraping and cleaning any other residue that was left. At the end, they were looking like true “freezer” chickens. Katrina delved right in and was marvelous…I followed and soon began to like this process. It was kind of fun to be able to recognize the organs by touch as you’re pulling them out. Katrina and I had an easier time because our hands were smaller to get into the chicken. We then bagged and froze them. It was an exhausting, yet rewarding day.

So, I decided that we should eat a few of them for Sunday dinner. I made a brine of salt and water and let two chickens soak in it overnight. The next day Lily and I went out to the barn with some red potatoes, carrots, and red onions drizzled in olive oil and ranch seasoning. We stuffed the chickens with onions, rubbed butter all over them and sprinkled with salt and pepper. We placed the chickens on top of the potatoes and roasted them for almost two hours, rotating positions every 30 minutes. The barn smelled delicious and…the chicken was the BEST I’ve ever tasted. It just fell off the bones, was so tender and flavorful. I was so glad that, after all that work, the chicken wasn’t disgusting. We are definitely going to have roast chicken for Thanksgiving and you’re all invited. So far my experiment with eating meat out of my backyard has been successful. I’ll let you know how our first steer steak turns out.

Dustin got home just in time to see the chicken neatly lined up in the freezer, the kitchen scrubbed and disinfected, and all bloody remains carefully buried in the back. He only participated in the eating…I feel a bit like the “little red hen.”

The vegetables were delicious cooked under the chicken. The chicken drippings added so much taste.

The chickens prepped and ready.

Lily, rolling up her sleeves. She was a great helper. This is her stuffing the chickens with onions.

POSTED BY EMILY AT 12:48 PM

LABELS: CHICKENS

Quote for the day

I was listening to a Gloria Steinem speech today and once again she was very quotable. She was speaking about religion and feminism (of course) and this struck me as being unintentionally Buddhist:

“The reason you want to go to heaven, is because you’ve been driven out of your mind.

It’s almost over.

Sorry for kicking you

I know. I KNOW. We are all so tired of the political discussions. However…. my e-mail box is constantly being visited by my sweet Mormon friends (many from out of state) sending me Yes on Proposition 8 information. So far, I haven’t answered back as I’m trying to save my energy. But – most of the information is inaccurate and based on unsubstantiated fear. I’ve been doing a lot of research on a lot of issues for this coming election, and I’ve spent literally hours reading legal arguments and reasoning for both sides of Prop 8. I’ve been doing lovingkindness meditation when I get frustrated. I don’t want to get sucked into contention – but I also don’t want to be silent on this issue.

My tribe is Mormon. Mormons have taken a very visible stance on this issue and it makes me wince every time I read about it. Just because there are many Mormons behind this issue, does not mean that we all think alike. Sometimes we need to say something, more than we need it to be heard. Here’s what I felt compelled to write to my church leaders about Prop 8. FWIW – I apologize for veering off of the norm on this blog. Regular programming will resume after next Tuesday. Consider the dead horse kicked. (Oh there goes my bodhisattva practice – oy!)

August 14, 2008

Dear President Monson, First Presidency, and Quorum of the Twelve,

I write this letter with a lot of respect for what you do, not as a means to affect change within the church of any kind, but to simply bring more awareness to a quiet side of the issue on Proposition 8.

As a wife and mother of three, I understand the importance of family and the value of morality. After much consideration, I have decided not to support Proposition 8. I am saddened to see the church take such an organized effort against gay marriage. I have always respected the church’s statement about voting which I understood to be: pray, ponder and vote according to your own conscience. Creating an organized effort to support this proposition, speaking about it in church meetings, asking for help with polling and monetary contributions is contradictory to this teaching.

I am concerned about the amount of time given to this during church. I understand that many members already oppose gay marriage, and that is just fine for them. There are also some of us who believe differently about the subject. It’s not a matter of being right or wrong, but about being able to vote and discuss all things openly and lovingly and create respect for a difference of opinion. Even though my views are different, I want my chapel to be a comfortable and safe place to worship. I would also like to feel comfortable bringing a non-member friend to church, but right now that is out of the question for me given the inordinate amount of time being devoted to this topic.

It is incomplete to say that this is a moral issue, therefore it is okay for the church to organize a political action. I understand that the church teaches that homosexuality is a sin, yet I cannot find one real threat to my own traditional marriage by legalizing the marriage of my gay neighbors. My marriage will not be adversely affected if our gay friends marry. The success of my marriage is up to my husband and I. It appears to me that the church is choosing to make a statement about the nature of homosexuality, more than it is trying to protect marriage.

There is a lot of fear about what might happen within our society, our church, our schools and our families if we allow gay marriage. I literally hear, “I’m afraid we’ll have to add gay parenting to school textbooks, I’m afraid that the church will legally have to perform marriages for gays, etc. ” I’ve learned through experience that most projected fears have very little to do with the reality of how life actually unfolds. They almost always end up being more of a reflection of our internal state of mind. As a group, it’s a good opportunity to step back and reflect on what our collective fears are telling us about our culture within the LDS church and how we should proceed from here.

We cannot hide behind this proposition. We need to deal with these fears and concerns regardless of whether gays receive the right to marry. They are independent issues that need attention. Regardless of what the community teaches our children, we need to teach them about homosexuality and how to interact with our gay friends. As members we need to be educated about how to love and lead a child who we suspect might be gay. We need to find a place and a way within the church for gay members.

Gay couples are not going to disappear from our culture. The stance within our church will not affect gay couples outside of the church. Gay couples will continue to commit to each other, regardless of the initiative. They will continue to raise families. We can encourage a loving attitude towards them and their children or foster an attitude of alienation and superiority. I want my children to know that under no circumstances are their friends with gay parents any less whole than our own family. In no way is their family inferior to ours. To me, this is an important part of morality and maturity.

I have heard the reasoning, “Have faith and follow the brethren.” With great respect, I must say that we are all simply human, and throughout the history of the church the leadership has occasionally missed the mark. During the civil rights movement, the church had similar fears about the Equal Rights Amendment. The leadership and many members were afraid that marriage and families would be threatened. Members were asked to be politically active and many who supported the ERA publically were reprimanded. The womens’ movement has created huge opportunities for me. My husband, who is a hands-on parent, has a much more intimate relationship with his kids than the generations of fathers before him simply due to the equality of parenting time and division of parenting responsibilities. Equal rights have benefited us both tremendously in so many ways that I can’t list them all here. Looking back, the church’s defensive stance against the ERA was not what was best for me while growing up in that era, and I believe that denying gays the equal right of marriage is not in their best interest either. It is also another example of how a movement that is already started will continue to move forward, whether or not the Proposition passes. Thankfully, the women’s movement was propelled forward, even with the failure of the ERA, and my life is incredibly different because of the women who followed their conscience and spoke up. I believe that a similar movement is moving through our society as we deal with this issue of gay marriage.

It is clear to me that opposing gay marriage will alienate a group of people already rejected by the Mormon faith, creating more pain for these couples and families who are trying to make peace in this often intolerant world. I’ve lived in California most of my life. I have gay friends, neighbors and students who are wonderful, moral people. It is clear to me through study as well as talking with my gay friends, that homosexuality is a genetic trait, not a choice. Research backs this up over and over. Statistically, it is nearly impossible to change sexual orientation, despite radical and experimental treatments, some of which were conducted at BYU at great cost to their subjects. I do not think that people should be denied the pursuit of family, or the pursuit of happiness because of their sexual predisposition.

I would love to see more members of the church reach out in understanding for what it is like to be a gay person in the world, let alone a gay member of the LDS faith. I would encourage you to sit back and reflect on your own sexual attraction and where it comes from. What if your nature steered you toward a same-sex attraction? Where would your place be within the church, and how would you find a realistic and fulfilling lifestyle? I see no support or advice within the church for these members who are trying to navigate their lives and achieve a sense of wholeness and happiness. They are often rejected and left feeling broken and hopeless with nowhere to turn. I believe that God’s plan includes happiness.

Ultimately, I was looking for a motivating force for whether to support or reject the initiative. Around me, I see that fear and defensiveness are the motivating forces for those members opposing gay marriage. As I grow in understanding of the nature of God, I understand that fear is not the Divine motivating force. Love is the divine energy that connects us all, and love is the motivation for my support of gay marriage. I do not believe that God works through fear. As a Christian, I choose love, acceptance and understanding. I have an opportunity to wage war or to wage peace, and peace is why I will vote no on Proposition 8.

I know that you are all extremely busy men – thank you for reading my letter.

Much love,
Laurie Gallagher

Prop 8

I totally get that people disagree about politics – that’s cool. I like to give people their space and I like to have space when it comes to political opinions. Proposition 8 though, really hits home to me and I’m glad to have the right to a voice in the matter.

I think of all the titles I’m uncomfortable labeling myself as yet accurately describe me and shape my path in this world: yogi, student of Christ – Buddha, Mormon, mother, bodhi-sattva, bhakti, straight, female, etc. and how can I possibly vote against gay marriage?

Equality, love and acceptance. The pursuit of happiness, the art of accepting your true nature as whole and perfect. The world could use a little more of this.

Please vote No on Prop 8.