Warning: Extreme cuteness ahead…

When I was growing up, my Dad used to say, “You can have a dad, or you can have a dog.” My dad was pretty sweet, so I never pushed it. We had many cats, I had a horse, chickens, rabbits, and even a pet rat – but no dog. I had never been much of a “dog person”. You know the “dog people”? The people who talk baby talk to their smelly canine and makes excuses for their bad jumpy behavior? The people who think it’s funny when their 100 pound dog is humping your leg? The friend who never wants to go on vacation because it means leaving her dog behind?  Plus, the barking, the poop, the constant neediness that dogs have were qualities that never quite peeked my interest enough to add a dog to the family. I was OK with getting an outdoor dog eventually, but when we bought a house with a small yard, I figured it wasn’t going to work out. A dog is a dog, and their place is outside.

Dan had a samoyed growing up. His uber-cool big cousin gave them the puppy for a Christmas present. They lived in the mountains of Pollock Pines with no fences and lots of open space. That dog, “Nikki”, roamed free and happy. I met her when we dated in high school and she was super sweet. That connection of a boy and his dog is a deep, abiding kind of love.

What does a kid do whose dad won’t let them get a dog? Well, my little sister is trying to get a newfoundland dog, the biggest, drooliest dog possible! As I lent her moral support, and looked at the size of her prospective dog, and her 600 square foot apartment, I started to think that maybe we could do the dog thing! After a lot of research, looking, and planning, we went to Portland last week to pick up our newest family addition.

Meet “Echo”, the real-life Cosmic Puppy:

I know… “Aaaaawwwwhhhh…..” In an effort not to be one of those “dog people”, I researched dog training before we ever picked her up. At nine weeks old, after only one week with us, Echo sleeps quietly in her crate, is picking up house training quickly, and is as sweet as can be. So far, the little genius has mastered great yoga tricks like: sit, down, crawl, come, stay, and place (go to your mat). She needs more coaching on not “treeing” Drew on the couch and being so mouthy with the little ones. She is sweet and travels well in the car. She love going to the yoga studio in the morning and greeting all of the students and their kids. When we do yoga together early in the morning, she does downward-facing dog. It’s as if she was meant just for our family.

What most surprises me about her though, is that she is a perfect barometer of my energy. When I’m stressed out, she’s stressed out. When I’m calm, she’s calm. It’s instant. It takes so much work to care for her, keep her safe, train her, and give her affection. She is so loving and sweet, tipping her head, giving kisses and trying to be obedient. It’s such a great reward, and I’m surprised how much I love it. I am definitely beginning to understand this human-canine connection that so many people love. I think we’ll keep her – just don’t call me a “dog person”!

Preparing for our latest guru

Jenny and Jamie rock it… again.

Guru

Comforting…

to have a president who embraces and understands other cultures and traditions.

Gorgeous

Thank you Karma Club members and teachers for spending Saturday with me and producing such beauty. You really are amazing models. My job really is too much fun…

End of an era

Did you see this today?

Yep. The heavens parted today, and the angels sang a rousing version of the Hallelujah chorus. It was our first full day of Kindergarten, for the third and last time.

Somehow, I have managed to survive 14 years of staying primarily at home with small children. They’ve all survived infancy, toddler-hood, and pre-school without broken bones, swallowing hazardous materials or getting kidnapped. To top it off,  I have not maimed or hurt any of them out of frustration. My brain did not melt into the abyss as I feared it would, and I can still speak to adults with out regressing into baby talk. It may seem like a small feat, but I am celebrating today. It really is the end of an era.

I adore little children and babies, I really do. Living with them though, is a whole other story. I bow to childcare professionals, teachers and coaches and honor their patience, structure and ability to love the unlovable moments in life. Throughout the years of parenting, I’ve learned to enjoy the difficult moments. To slow down, chill out, and embrace what is happening NOW. It took me 3 kids, but I did learn to look into their little faces during the difficult moments and see some beauty past all of that whining. I learned to laugh more and ignore a lot.

And NOW, finally – I have the opportunity to embrace this moment. This moment – the  one where I send off my happy little 5-year old, off into the big world by herself. Every day. Six and a half hours a day! I’m embracing the fact that for the first time in 14 years, I will be able to complete a thought in my head without interruption from little people. I will be able to keep my eyes on my work instead of one eyeball on that little one who’s sneaking into the kitchen cupboard, or climbing the bookcase. I can grocery shop without managing the begging, and can read labels instead of chasing and negotiating and worrying about whether or not the kids are wandering away into the arms of the friendly neighborhood child molester. Ahhh…. thank you Mrs. Legaluche, Ms. Donovan, and the many High School teachers out there for taking over that responsibility for me.

Sometimes impermanence isn’t so difficult.

All things mundane

My bank account is empty after signing up 3 kids for PUBLIC school. The Danville schools are fantabulous thanks to one word: Parents.

I’m determined to keep my life at a yoga-chill pace which is a challenge with 3 kids and 3 different school schedules, one full time job and a husband who leaves for the city at 4:30 AM. What could be better than the To-Do list tattoo? I think it’s time for me to upgrade my planner:

We’re all Kindergarten, all the time around here. Drew is SO excited, and she’s not the only one. Countering her bubbly enthusiasm for kindergarten, is Brandon’s complete lack of emotion for high school. Yep, a freshman and a kindergartener in the same year! Brandon seems to take it all in stride. He got both of his electives of choice: Japanese and robotics. Let’s not share with him that Japanese is a crazy-difficult language to learn. Acknowledging that he would have to put in effort would probably end all of the Japanese fun. I’m planning to learn to make sushi and watch Ni-Hao with Drew so I can keep up!

Do you remember the SNL sketch, “Massive head-wound Harry”? This week, Kieran fell backwards off of a slide, landing on some rocks and learned how head wounds bleed profusely! It took us only 24 hours of drama and pampering him before he would let us tease him about it. Now he enjoys his new nickname: Massive head-wound Kieran.

I’m so close to ending this 14-year stay-home mom era of my life, I can almost taste it. Two more days before I graduate into sanity. Or insanity? I can’t wait to find out.

Yesterday, I worked the front desk at The Dog and left all of the kids with Dan. After a summer of working with kids at my heels, it was like heaven. I felt like the studio is the baby I’ve had to neglect for so long. It was heavenly just to mop the floors, enter data into the computer, answer phone calls and be present. I LOVE the Cosmic Community and can’t wait to be there daily. Sans children. And no, I don’t feel guilty about that because it’s just the truth.

Ego-Play

I grew up in an interesting world of paradox. I had 3 sisters, no brothers and one father who adored having all girls. One would think that we would be up to our ears in “girl stuff”. Not so. My mom, being very spiritual in her own right, and having feminist leanings, encouraged us to read, go to college, play in mud piles and constantly boosted our sense of intelligence and encouraged our creative pursuits. There were piano lessons, basoon lessons, string base lessons, violin lessons, dance lessons, a bit of girl scouts, lots of gardening and yard work and my favorite ( probably because they were just for ME) – horse back riding lessons. My mom’s most memorable phrase, and one that really sunk into the fabric of our development was – “it’s what’s inside that counts”, and she was always quick encourage inner development.

I think she was brilliant in this way. I can’t remember her commenting much on our looks. As I grew into a teenager going through those very narcissistic years, it became a bit of a problem. I was a girl with a tremendous self-esteem. I knew who I was, that my possibilities were limitless, that I was smart and talented and capable and independent. But – I didn’t have much self-confidence in how I carried that out in the world. Part of that was, wondering – am I even cute? My big sister and I tended to fill that in for each other. As we got to the end of high school, and past our years of so much in-fighting, we started sharing clothes more (me sharing clothes with my almost-six foot tall sister? Ha!) and complimenting each other and helping each other figure out a bit more self-confidence. Thanks Carrie!

I’m of the belief that ego is important to self-development. Yes, we should know that we are more than our self, our accomplishments, our appearance, etc., but at some point – having a HEALTHY ego is a great tool as we learn to navigate the world.

Yesterday, at scout camp Kieran was SO hot. He’d been growing out his hair “medium” so that he spike it up cool and do fun things with it. Two hours into the hottest day of summer though, and he was begging for a buzz. We came home and zoom – off came piles of hair. He’s been upset ever since. “I’m almost BALD! My friends are going to hate it and make fun of me!” He let me take this picture, and said it could go on the blog as long as I didn’t tell his friends about it. He is wearing a cap to scout camp today.

"I can't believe my mom did this to me."

Ah, there's a smile!

Drew was jealous of his baseball cap, and his cowboy hat – which he almost wore. (anything to hide that hair, I guess – even going cowboy) I remembered my box of vintage hats that I inherited from my eccentric and fun-loving aunt Millie. There’s nothing like playing Dress up Drewbie at 7:30 AM. TOO cute:

I realize that you can’t “give” your kids a sense of self-confidence or choose how they see themselves. I can tell Kieran how gorgeous he is til he’s blue in the face and he still is mortified by his adorable buzz cut. Drew is happy with her looks even if she’s running around dirty and naked (her favorite!). As a mom, it’s so interesting to try to strike that balance between teaching the kids about their insides and their outsides. I try to make the outsides about fun and play and creativity, rather than conforming or being proper. We’ll see. One thing I’m confident about? I’m sure to screw the kids up in one way or another. I hope they survive DESPITE their well-meaning mom!

And here I am as a kid, playing in the same hat collection....don't you love my "Heidi" dress?

Father’s Day – Part Two

Dan often goes to church without me and wrestles the kiddos by himself. Yesterday for Father’s Day, I thought it would be nice to stick together and keep our little Missy from ruining his listening time. Drew was a wiggly mess. I finally wrapped her on my lap and she begged me to sing her new favorite song. So, we whisper sang: “Oh Jesus I love you, and I love Buddha too…” several times. It really calms her down. Then, she was enticed out into the foyer where I could still see her and she joined the throngs of naughty children who were having a coloring party. During the closing prayer, I look over and she’s with her friend. Drew has her hands in anjali mudra and her head is bowed reverently. Her little friend had her arms folded and said, “like THIS”. Stubborn Drew says, “I do THIS, my mommy taught me.” Sometimes I think she doesn’t pay attention, but man – the girl is watching every move.

The talks were interesting. We got a big lesson on the “importance” of fathers. The speaker quoted stat after stat of how the children in father-less homes have a higher chance of getting in trouble later in life than those with two parents in the home. (never mind that there are numerous socio-economic/stress factors also involved in single parenting normally… there can be many factors to a child’s perceived success.) Now, I love fathers. I have a great Dad, I’m married to a great Dad, and I see fabulous fathers everywhere these days. Seriously, I think feminism was the best thing to ever happen to MEN. Now, it is expected that they have relationships and share equally in parenting duties and I see husbands rise to the occasion every day putting us moms to shame. Both the father’s and the kids of this new generation are benefiting from it. There is an intimacy that is built through the mundane tasks of feeding a child and wiping their little buns, and putting them to bed. I see great examples of this new version of super dad everywhere. My own husband does his best to be at as many parent-teacher conferences as he can. When the kids were babies, he was the one who mastered the burrito-baby blankie wrap and my kids know that if they wake up in the middle of the night whose side of our bed will bring them more comfort. (it’s not mine!) Just yesterday, during church I watched Dad after dad take out their crying children and care for them. Dads are vitally important.

All of that aside, I was very disappointed in the talk. I looked around the room and it’s hard to see someone, even in our family oriented Mormon congregation, that hasn’t been touched by divorce. Not everybody has a dad, or maybe a good dad, or a father for their children. There were single moms in the chapel and it seemed really insensitive to me to hammer those kinds of details out. Can’t we celebrate Father’s without putting down the experience of those who have no father? Can’t we talk about being surrogate father’s to those in need? Can we celebrate stories of great fathers and our relationship to Father in Heaven without putting down and deriding those who have no father? Sigh. Actually – after my little rant I have to admit that I only have one requirement for a good Father’s Day Sunday Meeting. LAUGH. OMG, if we can’t laugh on Father’s Day, what’s wrong with us? Don’t the Dad’s deserve at least the effort of entertainment on Father’s Day? They are after all, at church!

Pop Vs. Pup
While flying from Denver to Kansas City, Kansas, my mother was sitting across the aisle from a woman and her eight-year-old son. Mom couldn’t help laughing as they neared their destination and she heard the mother say to the boy, “Now remember — run to Dad first, then the dog.” — Karla J. Kasper

“There’s no such thing as fun for the whole family” — Seinfeld

“My father used to play with my brother and me in the yard. Mother would come out and say, “You’re tearing up the grass.” “We’re not raising grass,” Dad would reply. “We’re raising boys.”"
Harmon Killebrew.
“Before I took the old family car to college, my father loaded the trunk with soft-drink bottles filled with oil, coolant and transmission fluid. Sure enough, my car overheated. Scolding myself for not listening to my father’s instructions, I looked at the engine and saw how well he knew me. The oil cap was labeled Dr Pepper, the transmission stick, Coke, and the empty coolant container, Diet Pepsi. I finished the trip safely.” — Charlotte G. Alexander

An eight year old boy is walking down the road one day when a car pulls over next to him.”If you get in the car,” the driver says, “I’ll give you $10 and a piece of candy.” The boy refuses and keeps on walking. A few moments later, not to take no for an answer, the man driving the car pulls over again. “How about $20 and two pieces of candy?” The boy tells the man to leave him alone and keeps on walking. Still further down the road the man pulls over to the side road.”OK,” he says, “this is my final offer. I’ll give you $50 and all the candy you can eat. The little boy stops, goes to the car and leans in. “Look,” he says to the driver. “You bought the Ford, Dad. You’ll have to live with it!”

A mother took her little boy to church. While in church the little boy said, “Mommy, I have to pee.”The mother said to the little boy, “It’s not appropriate to say the word ‘pee’ in church. So, from now on whenever you have to ‘pee’ just tell me that you have to ‘whisper’.”The following Sunday, the little boy went to church with his Father and during the service said to his father, “Daddy, I have to whisper.” The Father looked at him and said, “Okay, why don’t you whisper in my ear.”

Paternal Payback

On the day I received my learner’s permit, my father agreed to take me out for a driving lesson. With a big grin, he hopped in behind the driver’s seat. “Why aren’t you sitting up front on the passenger’s side?” I asked.

“Kirsten, I’ve been waiting for this ever since you were a little girl,” Dad replied. “Now it’s my turn to sit back here and kick the seat.”

– Submitted by Kirsten Wiley