Halt!

17 Oct

Wow. I really needed the night off. Thank you for all of your kind e-mails as I shuffle things around in an attempt to take care of myself. Your understanding and support mean a lot to me.

For me, being sleep deprived means being very raw. It sounds rough, but throughout the last week, I’ve often found it a beautiful thing. I cuddled up in bed with a good book and realized it has been far too long since I was quiet and still.

Today marks the end of my 108 days of yoga. I did it. What an amazing experience to really be committed. Interestingly, it didn’t change that much for me. The biggest benefit was that I kept my committment to really live my yoga in the forefront of my mind. That was the biggest transformation.

After I gave birth to Drew, my wise yoga-teaching friend, Carol Atkinson came over to visit and see the baby. She brought gifts and a little bit of wisdom. Carol is old enough to be my own mother, she has raised two beautiful children of her own and has had a big influence on the yoga community of Livermore. I remember as I was feeling so post-partum and a bit frustrated and she said, “Oh Laurie, the beauty of yoga is that there is always something new right around the corner. You will never grow out of it.”

I’m reminded of her words tonight as I enter this new phase of life. It’s been one year since I started working for Be Well. That project ended quite differently than I planned and so has my whole life situation! I’m left in this beautiful space of open possibilities and rebirth. It has been humbling, disorienting and powerful all at the same time.

As I end these long, challenging 108 days of consecutive yoga, feeling tired and physically drained, I am immediately propelled forward. It’s just like kapala-bhati breathing technique… the inhale is coming without any effort.

I feel compelled to keep learning about yoga, truth, spirituality, energy and transformation. I fight the urge to leave my life, shave my head and put on the metaphorical orange robe, so I do the only responsible thing I know how. Jump back in and provide a structure for the swirling spirituality that is too fluid to hold.

So here I go, committing to 30-days of meditation practice for the month of November. Anyone with me?

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2 Responses to “Halt!”

  1. greenfrog October 17, 2007 at 8:32 pm #

    I’ll join you for the meditation exercise. It would be good to have someone to swap experiences with.

  2. Lisa October 17, 2007 at 8:39 pm #

    I’m in for the meditation thing!! I’ll get a good start since I’ll be in yoga teacher training for the first 11 days of the month!!! That momentum should keep me going for the rest of the month.

    Great job with your 108 days Laurie. I knew you could do it. I feel blessed to know you as a yoga teacher and a friend.

    Hope you feel (and sleep) better soon!

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