12 May

My 3-year old is pure perfection. She is going through the phase of complete honesty. That means spontaneous laughter, dancing and raging. Yep, tantrum time. She threw a huge tantrum at church today. I was thrilled to get a break from my meeting and take her outside to rage. Instead of trying to calm her down or force her back to her class, I watched her little pain body work itself out and eventually calm down. When she settled down after a while, she let me pick her up and we stood under the trees in the courtyard and listened to the wind sing through the branches. She said, “the trees are dancing”. If she had behaved better we would have missed a key spiritual moment together. Tantrums are great.

So are full length mirrors. Little Drew loves my full-length closet door mirrors. I like to spy on her and watch her discover her own form. She looks at herself with such curiosity, striking poses and rubbing her belly. Her yoga poses are spontaneous and clumsy because her driste is always on herself in the mirror. She doesn’t judge appearance, she just embraces the many things her little body can do. Today, she ran in front of the mirror, back and forth, to see herself in motion. Watching her is like magic.

My eight year old is all about right and wrong, black and white. He has drive and determination and always puts in 100%. There is no nuance with this kid. This proves to be a problem for him when he is torn between his crazy, beloved video games that lean towards raucous action and his mother’s determination to embrace all things peaceful. His great solution to the problem? He brought home a card game yesterday called, “Non-violent, Politically – Correct War”. The face cards are altered: the cards are love cards, unity cards, diversity cards and peace cards. The joker is worth the least and he looks like an evil Rambo character. You play like regular war, but the person who gets the least wins, because you can’t really win if you take everything from someone else. He says to me, “Mom! I have the perfect game for you… you know, because you hate violence!” Perfection. I especially laugh that he said that I hate violence! How dual of him.

My 12 year old? Well, he’s starting to appreciate his privacy more and more which is why I never really comment about him. I will comment about myself though, feeling shocked and amazed that I will have a teenager in July. I’m learning to really detach from the little guy I used to not be able to peel off of me, and embrace the fact that he is now taller and has bigger feet than me now.  I cherish every “me too” he mumbles at me when I yell “I LOVE YOU!” after him. And, I’m learning not to push when he says “no thanks” after I suggest a haircut… 5 times in one day, and that micro-managing 7th grade homework is just a huge waste of my energy. I love that he still wants to show me his drawings and videos and that his gentle side comes out when he helps with his little sister.

Ah – Mother’s Day. Today my parenting mistakes and shortcomings don’t really matter. I get to bask in the joy of perfection in all of it’s imperfect manifestations!

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