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More coming…

19 Dec

Hi all –

I’m hoping 2011 brings much more time for writing here, but in the meantime please check out my Sunday column at Doves and Serpents. This week’s post is about making offerings.

I just can’t get enough…

2 May

of my new book: The Gift, poems by Hafiz the great Sufi master, translations by Daniel Ladinsky. Suzanna had this book available at Teacher Training today and I got so absorbed in it that I almost dropped everything in my very busy day to curl up in a corner and read. On the way home tonight, my car drove itself to Barnes and Noble where I was forced beyond my control to shell out $16.00 that I didn’t have to buy my own copy. Now if only I could go to bed instead of mooning over Hafiz.

HAFIZ

It

Is all

Just a love contest

And I never

Lose.

Now you have another good reason

To spend more time

With

Me.

THIS SKY

This

Sky

Where we live

Is no place to lose your wings

So love, love,

Love.

BERSERK

Once

In a while

God cuts loose His purse strings,

Gives a big wink to my orchestra,

Hafiz

Does not require

Any more prompting than that

To let

Every instrument inside

Go

Berserk

My favorite:

IT WILL STRETCH OUT ITS LEG

All the classes you have sat in,

All the money you have paid

For “truth”,

Something must be wrong, though,

If your eye still wanders through the streets

Acting like a beggar.

Why not try this:

Let all the fake teachers starve.

Picture one of the great masters

In your mind,

Put your lips against his cheek

Each morning.

Say, keep saying,

“Dear Beloved, pinch me.

I want proof You’re near —

A love-bruise on my rump will do.”

The Friend is an unfathomable well

That knows everything;

Draw from that safe luminous sky.

Stay near this book,

It will stretch out its leg and

Trip you;

You’ll fall

Into

God.

Safe Passage

23 Apr

This week, I went to a meditation class with Corrie Borris. She spoke about healing and facilitated the class through a two-part breathing process. During her talk, she said something that really moved me,

“Do other people have safe passage through your mind?”

That gave me such a good perspective on the power of thought. It’s been transforming my thoughts all day.

Her two-part breathing process was fascinating. I’ve done quite a bit of pranayama before, but never a process like this. It was incredibly insightful. I’ll let y’all know when she’s coming again…

More MoSto

20 Apr

I spent a fun (and long!) evening with 3 amazing friends: John Dehlin, Heather Orson Beal, and Lee White creating a Mormon Stories podcast called, “Raising Children in a Non-traditional LDS Home.” If you look under the dictionary under “non-traditional” Mormon, my picture is right there!

It might be of interest to my Mormon friends, but probably boring for the rest of y’all! Check it out here: Mormon Stories, or on I-tunes under Mormon Stories Podcast.

Check it out.

8 Feb

After a much-too-long hiatus, my friend, John Dehlin restarted his fascinating podcast series: Mormon Stories.  John’s series is the most honest, refreshing and loving look into the rich and fascinating stories that surround Mormonism. He includes the faithful, the disaffected, the intellectuals, and historians (some famous, some not so famous) – there’s literally something for everyone here. If you’ve ever sat in Gospel Doctrine class, scratching you head and saying, “what about….?”, and knew it wasn’t ok to ask, then this is for you.

If you are Mormon and someone you know and love has left the church, his presentation, “Why people leave the LDS church” is an important and thoughtful piece of work.

Yep, it’s on i-tunes.

desire and attachment

6 Aug

What a fun week here in Utah with our families. My 12-year old neice Amber (AKA my new nanny) is thrilled to have her own bank account and debit card with which to do her back-to-school shopping. I chauffered her to Tar-get and Old Navy and helped her put together cute outfits. We bought a new outfit for Drew to start Kindergarten in (love the clearance racks here) and that just leaves the boys.

They say that it’s not the object of your desire that makes you happy, it’s the absense of desire that makes us happy. OK… well the interesting thing is – my boys don’t want any THING, they want to keep their attachments:

b's shoes

Both boys need new shoes. Kieran loves the attention and is happy to go pick out something new. Brandon (shoes above) desperately needs new shoes. Notice the worn in insides, the ripped toe, the blood stains. (don’t ask) He’s starting high school, I was figuring that he would at least be interested in some new footwear. His response? “I just got them broken in perfect.”

So, we’re either managing our desires, or breaking our attachments. Either way, it keeps me hopping.

PS – (added later) While shopping for shoes today and teasing the man-child about the blood on his shoes, he laughed. “Mommmm… that’s red paint from helping with that Eagle Scout Project.” That’s my boy, Mr. Goody Two Shoes. Yes, we did replace the shoes – and he was shyly proud that he went up a size.

Ego-Play

15 Jul

I grew up in an interesting world of paradox. I had 3 sisters, no brothers and one father who adored having all girls. One would think that we would be up to our ears in “girl stuff”. Not so. My mom, being very spiritual in her own right, and having feminist leanings, encouraged us to read, go to college, play in mud piles and constantly boosted our sense of intelligence and encouraged our creative pursuits. There were piano lessons, basoon lessons, string base lessons, violin lessons, dance lessons, a bit of girl scouts, lots of gardening and yard work and my favorite ( probably because they were just for ME) – horse back riding lessons. My mom’s most memorable phrase, and one that really sunk into the fabric of our development was – “it’s what’s inside that counts”, and she was always quick encourage inner development.

I think she was brilliant in this way. I can’t remember her commenting much on our looks. As I grew into a teenager going through those very narcissistic years, it became a bit of a problem. I was a girl with a tremendous self-esteem. I knew who I was, that my possibilities were limitless, that I was smart and talented and capable and independent. But – I didn’t have much self-confidence in how I carried that out in the world. Part of that was, wondering – am I even cute? My big sister and I tended to fill that in for each other. As we got to the end of high school, and past our years of so much in-fighting, we started sharing clothes more (me sharing clothes with my almost-six foot tall sister? Ha!) and complimenting each other and helping each other figure out a bit more self-confidence. Thanks Carrie!

I’m of the belief that ego is important to self-development. Yes, we should know that we are more than our self, our accomplishments, our appearance, etc., but at some point – having a HEALTHY ego is a great tool as we learn to navigate the world.

Yesterday, at scout camp Kieran was SO hot. He’d been growing out his hair “medium” so that he spike it up cool and do fun things with it. Two hours into the hottest day of summer though, and he was begging for a buzz. We came home and zoom – off came piles of hair. He’s been upset ever since. “I’m almost BALD! My friends are going to hate it and make fun of me!” He let me take this picture, and said it could go on the blog as long as I didn’t tell his friends about it. He is wearing a cap to scout camp today.

"I can't believe my mom did this to me."

"I can't believe my mom did this to me."

Ah, there's a smile!

Ah, there's a smile!

Drew was jealous of his baseball cap, and his cowboy hat – which he almost wore. (anything to hide that hair, I guess – even going cowboy) I remembered my box of vintage hats that I inherited from my eccentric and fun-loving aunt Millie. There’s nothing like playing Dress up Drewbie at 7:30 AM. TOO cute:

DSC_0925

DSC_0931

DSC_0927

I realize that you can’t “give” your kids a sense of self-confidence or choose how they see themselves. I can tell Kieran how gorgeous he is til he’s blue in the face and he still is mortified by his adorable buzz cut. Drew is happy with her looks even if she’s running around dirty and naked (her favorite!). As a mom, it’s so interesting to try to strike that balance between teaching the kids about their insides and their outsides. I try to make the outsides about fun and play and creativity, rather than conforming or being proper. We’ll see. One thing I’m confident about? I’m sure to screw the kids up in one way or another. I hope they survive DESPITE their well-meaning mom!

And here I am as a kid, playing in the same hat collection....don't you love my "Heidi" dress?

And here I am as a kid, playing in the same hat collection....don't you love my "Heidi" dress?